Read Lisa Damour and Gabriela Nguyen on Protecting Your Happiness in the Age of Social Media
Read Here
The 5D Method to get off of social media for good.
Created By Gen Z For All.
decrease, deactivate, delete, downgrade, & depart
Achieve Appstinence with The 5D Method
Quitting cold-turkey is tough for most. Instead, decrease your use, deactivate accounts one-by-one, delete (this happens automatically after 30 days of deactivation), and finally depart from the digital world. We replace social media with a robust habit of direct-line communication we call "calling culture." Here’s a free step-by-step for YOU to try TODAY:
Step 00: Prepare
THIS STAGE IS SUPER IMPORTANT DON'T CUT CORNERS PLZ
Write down four things:
Why you want to leave social media (e.g. I want more time so I don't always feel so rushed)
Note: Productivity is not a goal of appstinence but a positive side effect. Saying you want to become appstinent just to focus better and get things done will leave you with a LOT of other things in the digital world that can steal your focus. This realization is demoralizing so don't expect to suddenly write your entire term paper because you quit Instagram. Consider productivity and focus a second tier goal, but it shouldn't be a primary one.
What your fears are if you do (e.g. I won’t know the latest trends). Think of the fears of how you'll function in society and how it'll impact your relationships. Get really honest.
A list of REALISTIC analog activities you can do daily/weekly (e.g. reading).
Note: One of the primary goals of appstinence is to slow down your pace of life, so be realistic about what hobbies you can do weekly. Adding unrealistic hobbies creates unrealistic expectations for how you'll spend your time, and the pressure to achieve lofty hobbies will speed up your pace of life.
Think of hobbies that are easy to pick up and put down and can be easily modified in length e.g. walking and reading are great to start.
Note: It's also recommended to pick hobbies that necessitate others e.g. playing board games. When we're scrolling on social media we're giving ourselves a false sense of being in the presence of others, so start small but try to be around others in-person. You don't have to "do" any specific task when you're together, just chilling with your phones off or wandering around phone-free is plenty.
Allow yourself time to do what you're already doing more slowly and one-at-at-time. Add in what you should be doing next, then add in the lighter hobbies. Only after this all if you still have time should you add in the more time consuming, laborious, often expensive hobbies.
You'll be surprised at how little time is left in a day when you've gone to work, tended to your family and relationships, run errands, worked out, and done all of this at a reasonable pace. It's not uncommon to still have time after all this for a "big" hobby, but if you don't then that's right on track.
Make a list of family and friends that are important for you to keep in regular contact with. One by one, let each know that you’re experimenting with a new lifestyle, and that you’ll be moving offline. Ask them to reach you by phone or text instead. Tell them you'd like to call more often and that you will be calling them.
Note: It's important that YOU are the one first initiating calls. Don't wait for them to do it first because they won't. Your family and friends will need time to adjust to this change and it is not really their responsibility to be proactive here, but by seeing the initiative you take to keep in touch will train them to do the same. Over time, you'll both be elevating the closeness of your relationship as both parties get used to a phone call being the default way to hear from one another.
Note: A goal of appstinence is not to just maintain your relationships, but to deepen the ones you most care about. Remember, the trade-off is being made between hanging on to a lot of loose connections, or re-investing that energy into deepening the ones you value most.
Note: The fear of missing out is a good thing, when it's the fear of missing out on real life. By prioritizing real-world engagement you'll be able to channel that fear into actually getting out into the physical world!!
Step 00: Prepare
THIS STAGE IS SUPER IMPORTANT DON'T CUT CORNERS PLZ
Write down four things:
Why you want to leave social media (e.g. I want more time so I don't always feel so rushed)
Note: Productivity is not a goal of appstinence but a positive side effect. Saying you want to become appstinent just to focus better and get things done will leave you with a LOT of other things in the digital world that can steal your focus. This realization is demoralizing so don't expect to suddenly write your entire term paper because you quit Instagram. Consider productivity and focus a second tier goal, but it shouldn't be a primary one.
What your fears are if you do (e.g. I won’t know the latest trends). Think of the fears of how you'll function in society and how it'll impact your relationships. Get really honest.
A list of REALISTIC analog activities you can do daily/weekly (e.g. reading).
Note: One of the primary goals of appstinence is to slow down your pace of life, so be realistic about what hobbies you can do weekly. Adding unrealistic hobbies creates unrealistic expectations for how you'll spend your time, and the pressure to achieve lofty hobbies will speed up your pace of life.
Think of hobbies that are easy to pick up and put down and can be easily modified in length e.g. walking and reading are great to start.
Note: It's also recommended to pick hobbies that necessitate others e.g. playing board games. When we're scrolling on social media we're giving ourselves a false sense of being in the presence of others, so start small but try to be around others in-person. You don't have to "do" any specific task when you're together, just chilling with your phones off or wandering around phone-free is plenty.
Allow yourself time to do what you're already doing more slowly and one-at-at-time. Add in what you should be doing next, then add in the lighter hobbies. Only after this all if you still have time should you add in the more time consuming, laborious, often expensive hobbies.
You'll be surprised at how little time is left in a day when you've gone to work, tended to your family and relationships, run errands, worked out, and done all of this at a reasonable pace. It's not uncommon to still have time after all this for a "big" hobby, but if you don't then that's right on track.
Make a list of family and friends that are important for you to keep in regular contact with. One by one, let each know that you’re experimenting with a new lifestyle, and that you’ll be moving offline. Ask them to reach you by phone or text instead. Tell them you'd like to call more often and that you will be calling them.
Note: It's important that YOU are the one first initiating calls. Don't wait for them to do it first because they won't. Your family and friends will need time to adjust to this change and it is not really their responsibility to be proactive here, but by seeing the initiative you take to keep in touch will train them to do the same. Over time, you'll both be elevating the closeness of your relationship as both parties get used to a phone call being the default way to hear from one another.
Note: A goal of appstinence is not to just maintain your relationships, but to deepen the ones you most care about. Remember, the trade-off is being made between hanging on to a lot of loose connections, or re-investing that energy into deepening the ones you value most.
Note: The fear of missing out is a good thing, when it's the fear of missing out on real life. By prioritizing real-world engagement you'll be able to channel that fear into actually getting out into the physical world!!
Step 00: Prepare
THIS STAGE IS SUPER IMPORTANT DON'T CUT CORNERS PLZ
Write down four things:
Why you want to leave social media (e.g. I want more time so I don't always feel so rushed)
Note: Productivity is not a goal of appstinence but a positive side effect. Saying you want to become appstinent just to focus better and get things done will leave you with a LOT of other things in the digital world that can steal your focus. This realization is demoralizing so don't expect to suddenly write your entire term paper because you quit Instagram. Consider productivity and focus a second tier goal, but it shouldn't be a primary one.
What your fears are if you do (e.g. I won’t know the latest trends). Think of the fears of how you'll function in society and how it'll impact your relationships. Get really honest.
A list of REALISTIC analog activities you can do daily/weekly (e.g. reading).
Note: One of the primary goals of appstinence is to slow down your pace of life, so be realistic about what hobbies you can do weekly. Adding unrealistic hobbies creates unrealistic expectations for how you'll spend your time, and the pressure to achieve lofty hobbies will speed up your pace of life.
Think of hobbies that are easy to pick up and put down and can be easily modified in length e.g. walking and reading are great to start.
Note: It's also recommended to pick hobbies that necessitate others e.g. playing board games. When we're scrolling on social media we're giving ourselves a false sense of being in the presence of others, so start small but try to be around others in-person. You don't have to "do" any specific task when you're together, just chilling with your phones off or wandering around phone-free is plenty.
Allow yourself time to do what you're already doing more slowly and one-at-at-time. Add in what you should be doing next, then add in the lighter hobbies. Only after this all if you still have time should you add in the more time consuming, laborious, often expensive hobbies.
You'll be surprised at how little time is left in a day when you've gone to work, tended to your family and relationships, run errands, worked out, and done all of this at a reasonable pace. It's not uncommon to still have time after all this for a "big" hobby, but if you don't then that's right on track.
Make a list of family and friends that are important for you to keep in regular contact with. One by one, let each know that you’re experimenting with a new lifestyle, and that you’ll be moving offline. Ask them to reach you by phone or text instead. Tell them you'd like to call more often and that you will be calling them.
Note: It's important that YOU are the one first initiating calls. Don't wait for them to do it first because they won't. Your family and friends will need time to adjust to this change and it is not really their responsibility to be proactive here, but by seeing the initiative you take to keep in touch will train them to do the same. Over time, you'll both be elevating the closeness of your relationship as both parties get used to a phone call being the default way to hear from one another.
Note: A goal of appstinence is not to just maintain your relationships, but to deepen the ones you most care about. Remember, the trade-off is being made between hanging on to a lot of loose connections, or re-investing that energy into deepening the ones you value most.
Note: The fear of missing out is a good thing, when it's the fear of missing out on real life. By prioritizing real-world engagement you'll be able to channel that fear into actually getting out into the physical world!!
Step 01: Decrease
Delete all of the apps from your smartphone, and only access them through the browser on your laptop. If you do not own a laptop then use the browser on another device like your tablet, or on your phone if you must.
The point is to introduce just a bit of a barrier between the mindlessness of opening apps. Don't worry if you find yourself still logging in a lot. Once you've done this for a few weeks, move to deactivation.
Step 01: Decrease
Delete all of the apps from your smartphone, and only access them through the browser on your laptop. If you do not own a laptop then use the browser on another device like your tablet, or on your phone if you must.
The point is to introduce just a bit of a barrier between the mindlessness of opening apps. Don't worry if you find yourself still logging in a lot. Once you've done this for a few weeks, move to deactivation.
Step 01: Decrease
Delete all of the apps from your smartphone, and only access them through the browser on your laptop. If you do not own a laptop then use the browser on another device like your tablet, or on your phone if you must.
The point is to introduce just a bit of a barrier between the mindlessness of opening apps. Don't worry if you find yourself still logging in a lot. Once you've done this for a few weeks, move to deactivation.
Step 02: Deactivate
Social media apps give you a 30-day deactivation period before your account is deleted. Starting with the app you feel you use that least, deactivate that account. You will naturally spend the time you would have on that app on other apps, so it may not feel like anything is changing. However, the point is to reduce the sources of stimulus gradually, and make this as painless as possible.
You'll start to notice that there's periods of boredom, stress, lull, etc where you want to pull out some social media to pass the time. This is when you go back to the list of people you made and call someone (or a few) and begin the habit of using this to keep in touch with people.
Step 02: Deactivate
Social media apps give you a 30-day deactivation period before your account is deleted. Starting with the app you feel you use that least, deactivate that account. You will naturally spend the time you would have on that app on other apps, so it may not feel like anything is changing. However, the point is to reduce the sources of stimulus gradually, and make this as painless as possible.
You'll start to notice that there's periods of boredom, stress, lull, etc where you want to pull out some social media to pass the time. This is when you go back to the list of people you made and call someone (or a few) and begin the habit of using this to keep in touch with people.
Step 02: Deactivate
Social media apps give you a 30-day deactivation period before your account is deleted. Starting with the app you feel you use that least, deactivate that account. You will naturally spend the time you would have on that app on other apps, so it may not feel like anything is changing. However, the point is to reduce the sources of stimulus gradually, and make this as painless as possible.
You'll start to notice that there's periods of boredom, stress, lull, etc where you want to pull out some social media to pass the time. This is when you go back to the list of people you made and call someone (or a few) and begin the habit of using this to keep in touch with people.
Step 03: Delete
After 30 days, your account will delete. Ideally, you won't notice this day come and go but if you do, hang tight. Keep calling people and slowly develop the habit of using direct-line communication to keep in touch when you can't be with others in-person.
Step 03: Delete
After 30 days, your account will delete. Ideally, you won't notice this day come and go but if you do, hang tight. Keep calling people and slowly develop the habit of using direct-line communication to keep in touch when you can't be with others in-person.
Step 03: Delete
After 30 days, your account will delete. Ideally, you won't notice this day come and go but if you do, hang tight. Keep calling people and slowly develop the habit of using direct-line communication to keep in touch when you can't be with others in-person.
Step 04: Downgrade
Repeat Steps 2 and 3 until you've deactivated the last app.
*This step can be moved to any point in the 5D journey. If you feel like switching your actual phone before deleting social media is less scary to start, then do this before deactivating anything*
Get a "transition device." A transition device is a phone that is not a traditional smartphone, but it has more capabilities than an intelliphone (that's what we call a dumbphone because there's nothing dumb about our phones!!). There are various options, but our favorite is the CAT S22 Flip that runs Android Go exclusively on T-mobile. It's cheap, very rugged, and allows you to download all the apps you'll need (Uber, banking, Double Factor Authentication if you're a student) but it's clunky and the screen is super small.
At this stage you've gotten rid of your social media accounts, and now your smartphone won't be bugging you either. There will likely be times you need to use your smartphone (mobile deposit, scanning a QR code, etc.) so keep it shut off on your bag on outings when you may need it. Otherwise your flip-phone should be used 95% of the time. If a full on flip-phone works for you, go for that. (UK intelliphone options here; US options here).
Step 04: Downgrade
Repeat Steps 2 and 3 until you've deactivated the last app.
*This step can be moved to any point in the 5D journey. If you feel like switching your actual phone before deleting social media is less scary to start, then do this before deactivating anything*
Get a "transition device." A transition device is a phone that is not a traditional smartphone, but it has more capabilities than an intelliphone (that's what we call a dumbphone because there's nothing dumb about our phones!!). There are various options, but our favorite is the CAT S22 Flip that runs Android Go exclusively on T-mobile. It's cheap, very rugged, and allows you to download all the apps you'll need (Uber, banking, Double Factor Authentication if you're a student) but it's clunky and the screen is super small.
At this stage you've gotten rid of your social media accounts, and now your smartphone won't be bugging you either. There will likely be times you need to use your smartphone (mobile deposit, scanning a QR code, etc.) so keep it shut off on your bag on outings when you may need it. Otherwise your flip-phone should be used 95% of the time. If a full on flip-phone works for you, go for that. (UK intelliphone options here; US options here).
Step 04: Downgrade
Repeat Steps 2 and 3 until you've deactivated the last app.
*This step can be moved to any point in the 5D journey. If you feel like switching your actual phone before deleting social media is less scary to start, then do this before deactivating anything*
Get a "transition device." A transition device is a phone that is not a traditional smartphone, but it has more capabilities than an intelliphone (that's what we call a dumbphone because there's nothing dumb about our phones!!). There are various options, but our favorite is the CAT S22 Flip that runs Android Go exclusively on T-mobile. It's cheap, very rugged, and allows you to download all the apps you'll need (Uber, banking, Double Factor Authentication if you're a student) but it's clunky and the screen is super small.
At this stage you've gotten rid of your social media accounts, and now your smartphone won't be bugging you either. There will likely be times you need to use your smartphone (mobile deposit, scanning a QR code, etc.) so keep it shut off on your bag on outings when you may need it. Otherwise your flip-phone should be used 95% of the time. If a full on flip-phone works for you, go for that. (UK intelliphone options here; US options here).
Step 05: Depart
You may be several weeks, a few months, or a year from the start of your journey. Take this time to reflect on how moving offline has changed your life. At this point you should be feeling like there’s a distance between you and the digital world– a good sign you exist in the real world.
The first moment when you feel like you "made it" is called The Threshold. The Threshold is vague, sometimes random moment that happens for everyone at a different time, but you'll know it when you feel it. You may wane in your progress (as one does in any self-development) but it's unlikely you'll dip to the levels of brainrot that brought you to reading this in the first place.
Congrats, you've chosen peace.
Step 05: Depart
You may be several weeks, a few months, or a year from the start of your journey. Take this time to reflect on how moving offline has changed your life. At this point you should be feeling like there’s a distance between you and the digital world– a good sign you exist in the real world.
The first moment when you feel like you "made it" is called The Threshold. The Threshold is vague, sometimes random moment that happens for everyone at a different time, but you'll know it when you feel it. You may wane in your progress (as one does in any self-development) but it's unlikely you'll dip to the levels of brainrot that brought you to reading this in the first place.
Congrats, you've chosen peace.
Step 05: Depart
You may be several weeks, a few months, or a year from the start of your journey. Take this time to reflect on how moving offline has changed your life. At this point you should be feeling like there’s a distance between you and the digital world– a good sign you exist in the real world.
The first moment when you feel like you "made it" is called The Threshold. The Threshold is vague, sometimes random moment that happens for everyone at a different time, but you'll know it when you feel it. You may wane in your progress (as one does in any self-development) but it's unlikely you'll dip to the levels of brainrot that brought you to reading this in the first place.
Congrats, you've chosen peace.
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Ingredients of the 5D Method
The Immunity-to-Change Approach
The Immunity to Change Approach was developed at the Harvard Graduate School of Education by professors Robert Keegan and Lisa Lahey. These professors analyzed nearly three decades of research on adult development; they realized that profound, lasting change requires deep mindset shifts. They found that often the reason we do not change our habits is because we have different parts of ourselves striving for contradictory goals (“competing commitments”), and we often hold incorrect beliefs about how the world works (“limiting beliefs”).
Addiction Recovery (Dopamine Nation)
Dr. Anna Lembke’s landmark book Dopamine Nation recommends a 30-day abstention period to reset the brain’s reward pathways. The 5D Method aligns the 30-day deactivation window that most social media accounts give you to help clients rebuild their analog lives while adjusting to using social media less.
lived experience of Gen Z
Gen Z are the first generation to be raised on social media, and have profound experiences growing up online. Using the experiences of the Gen Z team, clients, and youth members of the organization, we create practical solutions based off of their common struggles.
Connect With Us
For questions or inquiries, please visit our contact page or email us at hey@appstinence.org
Connect With Us
For questions or inquiries, please visit our contact page or email us at hey@appstinence.org
Connect With Us