THIS STAGE IS SUPER IMPORTANT DON'T CUT CORNERS PLZ

Write down four things:

1. Why you want to leave social media (e.g. I want more time so I don't always feel so rushed)

   Note: Productivity is not a goal of appstinence but a positive side effect. Saying you want to become appstinent just to focus better and get things done will leave you with a LOT of other things in the digital world that can steal your focus. This realization is demoralizing so don't expect to suddenly write your entire term paper because you quit Instagram. Consider productivity and focus a second tier goal, but it shouldn't be a primary one.

   
   

2. What your fears are if you do (e.g. I won’t know the latest trends). Think of the fears of how you'll function in society and how it'll impact your relationships. Get really honest.

   
   

3. A list of REALISTIC analog activities you can do daily/weekly (e.g. reading).

   
   

   Note: One of the primary goals of appstinence is to slow down your pace of life, so be realistic about what hobbies you can do weekly. Adding unrealistic hobbies creates unrealistic expectations for how you'll spend your time, and the pressure to achieve lofty hobbies will speed up your pace of life.

   
   

   Think of hobbies that are easy to pick up and put down and can be easily modified in length e.g. walking and reading are great to start.

   
   

   Note: It's also recommended to pick hobbies that necessitate others e.g. playing board games. When we're scrolling on social media we're giving ourselves a false sense of being in the presence of others, so start small but try to be around others in-person. You don't have to "do" any specific task when you're together, just chilling with your phones off or wandering around phone-free is plenty.

   
   

   Allow yourself time to do what you're already doing more slowly and one-at-at-time. Add in what you should be doing next, then add in the lighter hobbies. Only after this all if you still have time should you add in the more time consuming, laborious, often expensive hobbies.

   
   

   You'll be surprised at how little time is left in a day when you've gone to work, tended to your family and relationships, run errands, worked out, and done all of this at a reasonable pace. It's not uncommon to still have time after all this for a "big" hobby, but if you don't then that's right on track.

   
   

4. Make a list of family and friends that are important for you to keep in regular contact with. One by one, let each know that you’re experimenting with a new lifestyle, and that you’ll be moving offline. Ask them to reach you by phone or text instead. Tell them you'd like to call more often and that you will be calling them.

Note: It's important that YOU are the one first initiating calls. Don't wait for them to do it first because they won't. Your family and friends will need time to adjust to this change and it is not really their responsibility to be proactive here, but by seeing the initiative you take to keep in touch will train them to do the same. Over time, you'll both be elevating the closeness of your relationship as both parties get used to a phone call being the default way to hear from one another.

Note: A goal of appstinence is not to just maintain your relationships, but to deepen the ones you most care about. Remember, the trade-off is being made between hanging on to a lot of loose connections, or re-investing that energy into deepening the ones you value most.

Note: The fear of missing out is a good thing, when it's the fear of missing out on real life. By prioritizing real-world engagement you'll be able to channel that fear into actually getting out into the physical world!!